The Comfort Zone

Our long awaited get away starts tomorrow at noon. Getting a full 24 hours in a hotel without the little ones around is a very big deal and not something we have yet to experience. It’s been a long week and I have been testy. There have been a couple of times over the last four days that I have been reminded to watch my mouth and as I briefly mentioned in a reply on an earlier post I flat out said no to eating dinner this week and was told that answer was no longer an option (ever on any directive) and he would deal with that later.

I have to admit I have been cocky. I alone am the one who has suggested this type of relationship. I have felt no fear of the unknown because to be quite honest I have not been 100% convinced he will push me. In my mind the minute I shed a tear it will be over. He has called things that seem very appealing me to me brutal. Right now there are certain places he does not want to go. I have not given it too much thought because I am confident we will both find a place in which we are content but it has also had me very relaxed about where we are going….until yesterday.

We had a disagreement on the phone, I should have let it go but that is not written in my genetic code. I knew I was pushing the limits but again I’m still in that “anything that you do to me will bother you more than me” mode. Pretty tough for a girl who hasn’t even had a bare ass spanking yet, huh? (Although I have quite enjoyed the over the clothes hand and belt swats I been lucky enough to receive on the fly). He told me to stop and I didn’t, then he promptly told me he would correct the situation on Friday and both I and my ass would be very sorry for it when he was done. I wasn’t expecting that so I pretty much shut up.

Later that evening on the phone we were talking about what to pack and putting together a list He mentioned a separate bag of “props” he was packing and casually slipped in the fact that he needed to grab a hanger. Ummm, excuse me? I asked kind of quietly.  “Yeah you heard me a hanger. I may use it and I may not but at least now you will have a starting point when you are trying to guess what implement of torture I will be using on you when you can’t see.”

I literally froze and I was stunned silent, I panicked. It wasn’t the hanger, it was the not being able to see part. I was surprised at my own reaction. The idea of a caning doesn’t bother me at all but I’m getting freaked out about the thought of a blindfold. What?

“What’s wrong” I hear and it is in the smuggest voice you could ever imagine.  

“I’m nervous about being blindfolded; I don’t think I will like it.” I answered still very quiet.

“Well then we don’t use it” he quickly said to me and back to my little comfort zone I went.

“Ok” my voice coming back to its normal tone and volume until I hear him laughing.

“If you think you being nervous about something is getting you out of where I’m going you have seriously misjudged your situation. You started this, it’s on now”.

And on we go. Yikes.