The Beginning

There are so many wonderful blogs I have read and kept up with that gave me the strength to become comfortable with who I am. I would have liked to follow many from the beginning of the journey and that being the case I thought I should start mine from just that....the beginning. It took me a long time to get here but I am excited for what the future holds.

Friday, July 27, 2012


Yes folks, that's what I have been! Overwhelmed by work, the kids and all their activities, money, the ex, and all the volunteer gigs I signed up for before realizing I was actually going to get up enough courage to realize what I want and for the time being be a single mom.

I apologize for my lack of blogging and commenting, please know I have missed you all immensely. Thank you to FA of Fondlers Anonymous for her shout out on the Lovely blogger award and I will be sure to participate when I get back from vacation next week which incidentally is also stressing me out. I have so much to do before then and I will be away from Master for a week which is unsettling to say the least.

Now I have a confession to make, all this stress has caused me to act out a bit. I have been mouthy and distant and getting spanked everyday which seems to only calm me down for about 6 hours until I am right back to where I started. The fact that this has been the case is very unsettling. As some of you may already know I have pretty strict guidelines so my acting out may not have been bad by other standards but for us it has been unacceptable and frustrating to us both. This morning was no better and when I got to work I had the following email which was a response to a comment I made about getting a ride home from a friend if Master had to leave an upcoming cook out at my Best Friends house early since his daughter never wants to stay out as last as the rest of us:

You rebellious attitude will be dealt with accordingly.

With statements like the one you made about just leaving u behind when you are drunk, is a violation of rules given on the night of June 2nd. I stated that if you are not ok to drive after having permission to be out, I would come get you to assure your safety home. You WILL have more pro-active thinking about that in the future.
For example, you could've said,"If she needs to go home then will you come back make sure I get home safely Master?"

You must come to understand that I have to and want to assure your safety at all times and I do what I can within the circumstances of the relationship situation we are in. I love and care for you immensely my Slave.
Statements like that in the future will be dealt with corner time, cage time, list writing and/or the belt.
Understood Slave?

I feel better now, I think that may be just what I needed.

I promise to more actively post and email when I get back. I sure hope a week at the beach with the kids gets me out of this funk. Wish me luck.