The Beginning

There are so many wonderful blogs I have read and kept up with that gave me the strength to become comfortable with who I am. I would have liked to follow many from the beginning of the journey and that being the case I thought I should start mine from just that....the beginning. It took me a long time to get here but I am excited for what the future holds.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Deepening Submission

Last night Master and I found ourselves in a odd situation. Older daughter at a sleepover and younger daughter at her Dad's. You have to love it when you get those surprise nights alone. I called and politely requested he get his butt over to my house. We were both tired from work and he suggested we watch one of the Underworld movies which I have not yet seen. I thought this sounded wonderful since I have not watched any movie that did not involve talking animals, princesses or little blue talking people in quite some time.

We settled onto the bed and started watching the movie which he has seen about 12 times. If you have never watched any of these movies they are of the kind that requires you to really pay attention to each and every word to get what is going on. Shouldn't be a problem, right?

Except that as the movie started Master placed his hand around the front of my neck and left it there while we watched. From the moment his hand went around my neck I went into deep submission mode. The longer we watched in that position the more I felt it. Every once in while he would gently run his thumb up and down the side of my neck but at other times he would tighten his hand around my throat and then release pressure when he felt like it. With each tightening of his hand I could feel the clenching of muscles and I am sure my slight movements didn't go unnoticed.

We had been watching the movie for about 40 minutes, me asking a question once in a while since I could not really concentrate. He explained what was going on, happy that I was enjoying the movie since it is one of his favorites. I wanted him to touch me so badly I could not contain myself.

We watched a little longer in silence until he released my neck an started rubbing my lower abdomen. My neck was covered in sweat from his hand being placed there for so long and my throat was still a little sore from pleasuring him earlier in the day after our maintenance session. I moaned in pleasure and whispered to him how wet I was. Master slipped his hand under the elastic of my panties to see for himself, gliding his fingers inside me as I bucked a bit eager to feel penetration. As Masters fingers entered me I sighed in relief, needing release so bad and anxious for his attention. Much to my disappointment after scooping up enough of my juices to get a handful he removed his fingers so he could suckle my taste off of them. Please Master I whispered in desperation, not really sure if he would comply.

You liked my hand on your throat like that. 

Yes Sir


I like to feel your control (He knows this already but he wants to hear me say it)

What exactly do you like

Total Control

He smiled at me and brought his hand to my opening again, he held my legs apart as he played, licked and sucked allowing me to come over and over and over again. Every time I would start to relax he would bring me back up and I know at some point I was begging for him to stop. He finally settled back down on the bed and I rolled onto my side to spoon against his body while I tried to catch my breath. He starting slipping his fingers in me again from behind and I reached around to grab at him, gasping at the feel of his hardness.He removed his clothing as I inched down to his midsection to take him in my mouth only spending a few minutes there before coming back up wanting to straddle him. I looked at him silently seeking permission and climbed on top once the signal I was looking for was granted. He directed me with his hands on my hips as we stared into each others eyes, each groaning as he deeply thrust his himself into me. We both climaxed together and then I collapsed in his arms as the movie ended.

I realized as we laid there that we really very rarely have relationships like that without some sort of pain factor. I have to say I thoroughly enjoy the mindset the pain puts me in during play (and sometimes it's just a hit of pain when we are not playing) and would not want to give up that part of our dynamic for the world but sometimes it is nice not to be so on edge, to relax and feel the total pleasure without wondering when the next slap, pinch or bite is going to sear through your body.

That hand on my throat was so significant, it put me where I needed and wanted to be without needing or wanting pain and he knew it along.

I wonder when I will ever get a chance to try and watch that move again.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Spot Checks

Maybe its because I have been behaving so well lately that Master feels the need to catch me in something devious so that he can dish out a little punishment. I am not quite convinced this is necessary since I am getting my reminder spanking every other day. Master assures me this is why I have not been punished in almost 2 weeks (I believe that is a record my friends), he swears the reminders keep me in line.

As many of you may recall we had some phone issues early on when the beginner level rules were being introduced. I wrote a bit about it here in the Do you have your Phone post and assure you I was spanked quite a few times for not having the phone charged and with me when I should have. Well the phone has been a non-issue for a while and I have to admit I find myself with it in my hand just in case he calls more than I care to admit. I mean I can still here it if it is next to me on the chair at the pool.

Anyway, some of the rules were elaborated on quite recently and Master needs to know where I am and be able to get in touch with me at all times and I mean ALL times. I was working at my desk and decided it was time for a smoke break (I know terrible habit  picked up as a teen) so I sent him a quick email to let him know what I was doing, grabbed my stuff and headed outside the building. I was outside about a minute when my cell phone rang and take a wild guess who it was.

Master does not usually call my cell phone during the day and at that point what he was doing had not yet really sunk in. I answered the phone and asked what was up.

Are you outside? 


Were you talking on the phone?


But you brought the phone with you. (Chuckling)

Yes, you told me not to go outside with out the phone (Duh - Ok I didn't say that but I really wanted to)

I know, I was just spot checking you slave, you are such a good girl, I love you 

I can't believe you called just for that (laughing & shaking my head)

Well I did and I will be checking on you a lot more, I have to go back to work, see you at lunch, I love you.

I love you too, Sir, See you soon.

That man is too much.

Monday, June 18, 2012

TTWD & the Kids

We had a busy weekend filled with sports, the pool, and family and just enjoying each other’s company. There was not very much alone time but we spent a lot of quality time together and with the kids just goofing around and having fun. Daddy's daughter was with us this entire weekend which typically happens every other weekend and I guess that means she is just not used to the way we interact. My girls are always with us and now I know they must really have some general understanding of how our dynamic works. (Of course they don't hear the words Master or Slave and they know nothing of punishment).

Daddy is very respectful and enjoys doing things for me. He is constantly telling me to sit while he takes care of things for all the girls. I do like to do everything for him which sometimes causes him some frustration but he lets me know when that is starting to happen and I stop puttering around when told. We are very affectionate around the girls and just a loving, happy group.

All five of us were in the kitchen and to be quite honest I don't really remember what we were all even doing. Daddy must have said something to me and I complied. I and my two girls did not even notice this as something strange since we are all together all the time. Daddy's daughter came out of nowhere and said "DB (ok she used my real name) Daddy's not the boss of you; you don't have to listen to what he says all the time". I didn't respond right away because I was concentrating too hard on stifling my laugh. My older daughter, who is still pretty young looked at her and answers "Oh yes he is and he's the boss of me too".

I have to say we just looked at each other and smiled and went about our business. It was pretty funny.

Fast forward to this morning, just me and my 8 going on 9 daughter in the house. She was in the hallway bathroom fixing her hair. I was in my room late for work, desperately looking for that damn other shoe. Ok, my closet is very neat so how could I lose a shoe? F%#k, I muttered out loud (but not that loud....well maybe a little loud) and my child proceeds to walk in the room, hand on hip, looks me dead in the eye and says "I'm telling Sir (Insert real name here) and you are going to get in big huge trouble" smirks and walks out of the room.

I told Daddy what she said to me this morning and we both got a really good laugh over it. Daddy has never even raised his voice at me in front of the girls (or really even ever) so we can't help but wonder what she thinks that really big trouble is, a raised eyebrow...... I would never get that lucky.

Friday, June 15, 2012


As we are relatively new to our dynamic it would only make sense that we evolve as a couple. I expected that but I have been struggling quite a bit. Although it is hard to admit I know it is because initially I was calling the shots, I was the one pointing out his Dominant tendencies, I was the one asking for rules and discipline and I had a perfect picture of how this would all play out.

I happily agreed to give up my right to say no, perhaps a little enchanted by all the wonderful play and new experiences in the bedroom.

The rules in the beginning were easy and in looking back quite insignificant. Guidelines on general behavior that did require some modification but overall were not life altering. Then the rules changed and they were written and they were strict.

He came over to review them with me and I have to say I was very nervous about entering that room with him. I undressed as he asked me and knelt before him as he sat on the edge of the bed so I could place myself between his clothed opened thighs. Each rule had an importance factor number which was matched up with a level of punishment and it was hard to wrap my head around but keeping it straight should not be too much of a problem. The rules themselves were not what I expected and quite frankly are tough. As each rule was explained they were confirmed with a whip from the crop to my backside or thighs which left me flinching especially since my latest paddling had not quite healed yet.

No leaving the house without permission, always call when leaving one place and going to the next, three beer limit if out with friends and if granted permission to go in the first place I must be home by eleven. No more happy hours with male co-workers unless there is a higher ratio of women there, if somebody leaves and throws the ratio off I need to leave as well. The list went on but these mentioned were the most shocking and left me feeling a like a child.

I acknowledged each rule with a Yes Sir after the crop landed and when he was done he pulled me up on to the bed and asked me again if I understood.  I nodded in a daze as he tied my wrists together and then above my head to the bed frame. He placed the blindfold over my eyes and nose leaving me to breathe through my mouth and super sensitive. My body shivered as his hands glided all over me and his tongue worked magic between my thighs. There were several commands to keep my legs spread and although I tried my best there were a few times were I failed miserably as the need to feel him inside me took over. He kept me so close to the edge without letting me go over and I whimpered and begged and outright protested when he flipped me on to my stomach. Ahh I screamed as he started spanking hard with his hand, and just as the stinging had me slipping away he stopped leaving me struggling to identify the sounds I could not distinguish. The ripping of a condom packet was pretty clear and then the pressure against my ass as he thrust my legs forward so they were still flat on the bed but pushed up to each side to spread my cheeks apart. He slowly entered my backside and moved in out of me as I moaned in delight savoring the feeling and pushing back against his body. We moved together for quite some time as he asked me questions regarding my slave status and my ownership. My mind and body was spiraling to another planet and then suddenly he pulled out of me. I yelped in protest not wanting to him to stop. He flipped me over again onto my back and in a matter of seconds had freed himself from the condom as he brought his shaft up to my mouth. I greedily took him in pulling against my restraints to take as much as possible, wanting nothing more in the world than his beautiful hard cock in my mouth. Once he had his fill I felt his weight lift off me and I strained to once again hear what was happening around me, I didn't have to wait long as I felt the  hardwood cane run across my midsection and felt the thwack come down on breast. I cowered into the mattress at the light but firm impact as he swatted at my chest. His hand brushes my inner thighs and the pool of wetness that is quickly accumulating. He brings the cane down to my opening and inserts the tip a bit twirling it about and then pulling it out and running it up and down my opening. He continued this assault until the cane was soaked in my juices. He then started caning the inside of my thighs reminding me of my failure to keep my legs open at his command earlier on in our playtime. Determined to be good I willed myself to stay open to the sting until he put the cane down and plunged himself inside me, pounding my body until we both released ourselves to each other.

When I came back to reality and laid there as he stoked my hair and cheek I quietly told him I was not expecting to play like that today. He looked at me lovingly and answered "You always follow the rules better after I have taken you down that path."

We had a nice relaxed evening together for the rest of the night, drinking a few beers and watching TV. I didn’t give the rules much thought and figured I would be Ok with them for the most part. This was the case of course until the constant calling to update him on my errands became cumbersome and than a few days later I wanted to do something and was told no. We fought and I got became defiant.  I flat out said no to something and later back peddled, I ended up obeying but was indeed punished for my behavior as is should be. After the punishment he took me in his arms and he looked down at me and said You have to listen I am your Owner and I knew he was right and I cried and I apologized and I thanked him for punishing me.

We both grew during this experience and yes I feel I came to a crossroad and took the right path. I feel my place in this although I pouted and kicked and screamed along the way. This was the first big obstacle we went through and there have been others since then but they haven't been so big and when I want to argue I keep myself in check and I do listen. We have been keeping up with every other day maintenance and my anxiety level over the rules have gone down tremendously. I literally feel submission deepening in my soul as time goes on, and just when I feel like I can handle this again he tells me he wants more. More rules, more control, he wants it all and it has to be that way or it has to be nothing. So now I wait, I wait to hear what the new rules are and I am excited and nervous. I've been begging for him to tell me but I must wait because instead of sealing the deal with the crop it will be the cane and we need time (and a house with no children).

Maybe this time it won't be so hard, maybe I won't be so overwhelmed, maybe he knew them the whole time but knew I couldn't handle it all once. He handles me well and I love him for it.

Friday, June 1, 2012

Reminder Spankings

Reminder spankings are what Sir likes to call them and I agree they do serve a purpose. They are usually done about three times a week and always with that heavy, heavy paddle. I have asked for warm ups many times to no avail so I quickly gave up that foolish pipe dream.

We have had limited time together over the last few weeks and have been spending more time playing and exploring just how far we are both willing to take our play (lot's on that later but it's going well). So reminders were getting far and few in between until yesterday, at lunch no less.

In the car, back seat, over his lap, paddle out. I almost asked for a warm up but thought better of it. The fact that I wore a skirt to work that was a little to short for his liking (it wasn't that short) was not helping my case. He started fast and furious and stayed up pretty high on my cheeks since pool season is among us and somebody actually asked what happened to my bum/thigh at the pool last week. It hurt like hell, I am not sure if it was because it had been so long I forgot how bad it was or because it was just plain old intense.  I squirming like crazy and almost could not answer his questions. I knew I was moving too much but there was nothing I could do about it, I wanted to stop moving and every once in a while I did for a short period of time but it did not last long.

"The more you move the worse it's going to get little girl, stop it" he warned me several times but it was helpless.

I would say he went on for 20 consecutive paddles on each cheek. That may not sound like a lot to you but they were hard and they hurt. When he was done I laid limply across his lap trying to compose myself. I heard him gasp and then he started rubbing a bit "Are you OK" he asked and he sounded in a full blown panic. I'm fine I assured him still to limp to move, what's wrong? "I think you may be bleeding under the skin, I have never seen a color like this I think we need to take you somewhere." I sat there for a minute and tried to judge my pain, I absolutely hated every second of that spanking and the pain was there but it was not horrible. "I'm OK" I answered still sprawled across his knees.

He relaxed a bit and started rubbing my bottom again and quite accidently (I believe) he rubbed against my opening. I heard him chuckle in shock "you are so wet". I pushed my butt in the air in reply hoping to the heavens he would slip his fingers inside me. I am lucky girl because he quickly got to work as I scampered up on all fours to rock back and forth on his hand; soon I felt too weak to remain in that position and collapsed back down my stomach still over his lap. I wanted to stay in that state forever, the pleasure almost unbearable; he started spanking me again with his free hand as I whimpered from the sensations. He took it easy with his spanking hand, I think hesitant to further the bruising that is truly like nothing I have ever seen before. His other hand was working me furiously as I begged him not to stop and to please spank me a little harder." Come for Daddy you dirty slave" he demanded as he intensified the force behind his slaps and my body tensed as my orgasms literally shot out onto his hand (this is a first time occurrence for us). I wanted to rest but he had other things in mind and continued to pump his hand into me until my whole body was convulsing with pleasure. When he knew I couldn't take anymore he pulled me up into his lap, holding me close and rocking me back and forth.

"You know we both have to get back to work" he whispered in my ear. "I know Daddy I just need a minute" I answered softly feeling the unwelcome throbbing of my bottom once more.

We stayed like that for a few minutes and then reluctantly climbed into the front of the truck, sitting proved to be quite difficult and I later figured out walking didn't really feel too good either. We drove back to my office and he kissed me and told me how precious I was and how much he loved me and I of course returned the sentiment.

"Are you sure you are OK" he asked through the open window of the car. I turned and smiled at him and answered "Yes Sir, I hate spankings right up until the very minute they are over....then I just want more".

And more I got....the very next day too.