The Beginning

There are so many wonderful blogs I have read and kept up with that gave me the strength to become comfortable with who I am. I would have liked to follow many from the beginning of the journey and that being the case I thought I should start mine from just that....the beginning. It took me a long time to get here but I am excited for what the future holds.

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Making time for the Dynamic

If there is one thing we can all probably agree on it is that you must make time for any relationship in order for it to work. This sounds like a simple concept but in reality it can be hard to accomplish. This is not something that comes easy to slave and yet it is another area in which Master controls to the fullest extent. Once the kids are in bed and everything is in order for the morning it can be as late as 11:00 pm before we really get to focus on one another. It would be easy to kiss and roll over to our sides of the bed and repeat the process the next day without making any time until the weekends.

Master does not let this happen and has created a nightly routine that helps us stay connected. This involves a nightly spanking, followed by slave asking to recite her mantra usually at his feet and then the pleasuring of Master. Sometimes slave will be interrupted for other activities which gives us both pleasure, while other evenings Master explodes in slave mouth or on her face, kisses her goodnight and falls asleep.
This start of this routine was not always met with grace. Sometimes the petulant child would come out, stomping her feet and pouting that she needed her sleep even though she gets to sleep an hour later each morning. And really the whole temper tantrum was just causing us to lose even more sleep and also changed the tone of the spanking significantly. It was really very shameful behavior and not something one cares to think about too often. Slave is grateful Master didn’t give in to simply not have to deal with her BS because his persistence has led us to a wonderful place and no two evenings are ever the same.

Monday it just seemed we were able to get things done much earlier and we actually had some time to watch TV together. Slave asked permission to lie on the couch with Master and was given the go ahead so she cuddled in tight. Halfway through the program she realized Master had fallen asleep. Once the show was over Master was gently awakened and headed to the bedroom giving slave no direction to report to the basement as usual. The basement is usually reserved for louder implements and those times when Master would like to give slave a good whipping on her gentler parts causing some loud screams. Master stood next to the bed, exhaustion on his face evident as slave removed his clothing. Fully expecting to be instructed to get in bed, slave turned to dispose of his laundry when she glimpsed Master pulling out both the cane and the loop. Once instructed to present on the bed, slave was filled with gratitude that he held this routine so important that he would wake up from a dead sleep to make sure it happened. The spanking itself was not a tough one (or maybe slave was determined to be good because he looked so exhausted) and while he switched in between implements he reminded slave how good she had been and also of the few areas in which he would like her to do better. When Master was done and the mantra had been spoken, slave took him in her mouth until he was satisfied; her only need to please him and get him in bed. Seep came quickly to us both that evening.

Last evening we were back to our late schedule, not even getting to the chance to sit down before walking into the bedroom at 11:30 pm. Master smirked as he once again pulled out the cane and gave instructions. Lay flat on the bed and spread your legs he commanded as he sat beside her, tonight is going to be a little different. With that the cane came down so hard against the back of the thighs it took ones breathe away. The caning continued this way for quite some time, focusing on the same spot at least 5 or 6 times before he moved to a different area. There was some discussion of an attitude that had made its way into a conversation earlier that evening. It wasn’t long before the begging began and tears involuntarily sprang to her eyes, each full swing strike causing her to move just a little bit further from her original position. Master held slave tight but at one point she was pushing her upper body up off the bed and was quickly corrected with a strike to the upper back. Each time Master stopped to play with slave’s hair and remind her to breathe she thought perhaps he was done and yet he continued. At last his body weight was felt lifting off the bed and slave lie there panting, tears silently rolling down her cheeks. Instructions to fully undress were given and Masters arms wrapped around slave in a protective embrace. Thank you Daddy was whispered as the mind calmed itself and his hands ran lightly over the welts. Are you disgruntled he inquired knowing it was late and he had been heavy handed just moments earlier, let’s get some sleep. No Sir slave replied asking to say her Mantra with her head resting on his chest. As slave lay on his chest specifically thinking about each and every word as she spoke them she was reminded how much they meant to her and how happy she was that they make this time for each other almost every evening. Although it was late we played for a very long time afterwards.

Today we are tired; the welts feel raw, the sting provides a constant reminder of our connection and slave smiles to herself knowing she is going to get it again this evening.

Monday, September 16, 2013

Closeness and Affection

As mentioned in the last post Master went out with some friends last week. Now this does not happen very often, usually when we go out it is together. While Master was missed immensely, the fact that he went out was not a big deal, slave was happy he was going. Not only did he deserve the break, he was with my 3 closest friends’ husbands, some of which were not very accepting of our relationship when it started because the divorce from the ex was not finalized.

Anyway, when Master came home he made a passing remark about not receiving any texts from slave while he was out. The comment was surprising and there was an inquiry made as to if the other guys had been receiving texts from their wives and in fact they had…..several. That just seemed really strange because they had only been out for 3 or 4 hours and really the point was for them to have a fun time out. Slave certainly did not want to be a bother.

Now Master was not complaining but the comment keeps coming back to one’s thoughts. Is it weird that she didn’t shoot him a quick text to let him know she was missing him? And really who knows what the texts to other husbands were about, they could have been arguing for all we know. It just has one questioning herself; perhaps she is more distant than she originally thought or not as open as she can be. Does the absence of a text indicate a failure on this slave’s part in one way or another? And why oh why is this still bothering her 4 days later? Bothering her enough that she is writing this post?

Affection has never been one’s strong point, even though one has felt love for another for long periods of time. Hugging, kissing and holding hands are just things that have always fallen off once a relationship progresses. It’s not something conscious either, it just happens.

Master has changed that. Molded slave, mostly through his owns actions. He will reach out for a hand, grab the back of one’s neck or stop the progress of dinner or laundry for a long hug. At first the responses were ones of obedience but as time went on they were ones of true affection. Just feeling his skin against mine, craving any touch he would give, focusing on him even just for that second because yeah laundry and dinner can wait. There were also some rules that fundamentally changed the inner working of one’s mind. The most prevalent being that slave must always be touching Master in some way when relaxing together, even if it’s just a cheek on his leg as one sits at his feet, or throwing her legs on his lap on the rare occasion she asks to sit on the couch instead of the floor. This was a tough rule at first but really now it’s not a rule at all; it’s something one craves and doesn’t even take notice of. It’s something she wants to do, to feel our connection through touch. Slave didn’t even realize this change had taken place in her until the texting comment came up.

Yes, this post is going nowhere at this point, except that maybe one has even more work to do than she thought……and maybe she better talk to Master about it before he reads this. He won’t be happy this was not communicated to him earlier. For some reason it just seemed one would be over it by now.

Friday, September 13, 2013

A day in the life

Yesterday, Master did a very rare thing and took off from work. There were too many little jobs to be done that were nagging at the back of his mind and he just needed alone time to get them done. Perhaps that was why slave was feeling such separation anxiety when at work.

The nice thing about Master being home is that it really made slave’s day much easier. Master works long hours often leaving before Slave is out of bed and getting home late. Slave works full time too but is usually able to get home by 5:30. With Master home, there was no rush to make sure all 5 animals were watered, fed and safely where they should be after the kids got on the bus. There was no worrying about the kids getting off the afternoon bus and in the house safely and hopefully starting homework with no one breathing down their neck. It was the perfect day for it too since there was someplace to be in the evening as well.

When slave arrived home she followed her routine, greeting the children and removing shoes and under clothing before doing much else. As slave entered the kitchen she fell in Daddy’s arms while he was helping the oldest finish up her homework and quizzing her for a test. Master hands slid down one’s body making sure the proper clothing was removed and just held on tight while continuing to quiz the girl. All the while slave was licking his neck and shoulder since her back was to the children.

Once the homework was done and Master was satisfied everyone had eaten enough it was time for us to go. Slave gathered up the children and said goodbye to Master who promised to meet us at the school shortly. Two hours later slave returned home with two very tired children, while Master ran to the store before returning himself. Then another very rare occasion, it was time for Master to go out with the boys to celebrate a friends birthday. While happy to see him get out, saying goodbye again sucked but still there was much to get done anyway.

With children in bed, lunches made, house straightened and animals cared for there was finally time to sit at the laptop and get those pesky checks ordered. For some reason looking at all the different designs and picking out the perfect one is just something slave enjoys; getting new things is fun even it is just a new check design. When the selection was made and the payment method page came up it dawned on one she had no means to render payment until Master came home. She smiled to herself knowing she had to wait for him to get this done.

Just as slave clothes were stripped and she climbed into bed she saw the headlights pass through the window, her heart skipping a beat while she waited to hear the front door. As Daddy entered the room she smiled up at him in the dark and he sat at her side rubbing her hair surprised she was awake. “You have to get up for your paddling slave” he whispered with a smile on his face. “Ok Daddy” slave answered as she stood out of bed. (The paddle had made its appearance for the first time in months the evening before and Daddy had mentioned how much he missed it and his desire for a repeat the very next day).

Master laughed at slaves’ response pulling her back into his arms, “I am not going to paddle you tonight slave, it’s midnight, you need your sleep and I know you get jumpy when I have been drinking”. Now Daddy was by no means drunk and slave answered that she trusted him as he held her close. A little disappointment setting in even though it was late. Master was right, it was time to sleep.

Slave was given permission to use the bathroom and given the bank card to finish the computer transaction before climbing back into bed, snuggling close. “Are you humping my leg slave” he asks in that stern voice he sometimes uses that make one melt. “maybe a little Sir” one answers as he pushes her head down to wish him goodnight. Slave is soon on her side, her mouth full while Daddy is stretching her wide with this hand. Slave knew a fisting would be coming but she did not expect this now, not for the first time tonight. It hurt and felt good at the same time, perhaps the thought of the act turning her on more than the act itself.

Once we calmed ourselves and laid in each other’s arms slave told Master just how sore she was. Imagine her surprise when she was informed he didn’t actually get her open to that extent but that he looked forward to working on it more this weekend.

Slave drifted off to sleep knowing the weekend was going to be great indeed.

Thursday, September 12, 2013


It’s been so long since something has been posted here; it makes it hard to come back. There are so many thoughts and feelings that could have been shared that just slipped away. In retrospect, perhaps it was time to stop writing and reading just to establish the foundation of what we would be, how we work. To have nothing to compare us to. To have Master lead without expectations fueled by others experiences. Sure it started because we had no internet but one continued to stay away for many of those reasons.

Today it just felt right to come here. Today it felt right to stop in and say hi to you all. To tell Master how hard it is to be away from him even when it’s just for the work day. How one never thought any feelings could ever be so strong. How great it is when those feelings aren’t so scary anymore. How nice it is that those who read here get that.

Yes, we played last night and it was fun and it was intense and it was humbling. Master pushed a little further, the actions he took not nearly as important as where it got us. Actions that linger in slaves mind and that she can’t bring herself to disclose at this time. Actions that make her want to leave work early and lie at his feet, completely bare and open to him; even if that just means waiting quietly to be acknowledged.