The Beginning

There are so many wonderful blogs I have read and kept up with that gave me the strength to become comfortable with who I am. I would have liked to follow many from the beginning of the journey and that being the case I thought I should start mine from just that....the beginning. It took me a long time to get here but I am excited for what the future holds.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

A Playdate to Remember - Part 1

Nothing from the oncologist yet but today this girl wants to focus on better things.
This past weekend there was an empty house for several hours and Master wanted to take advantage of that to the fullest extent. Normally scenes are rushed due to children, parents and schedules which tend to cause slave to remain in a certain comfort zone that she can’t explain. It is hard to become nervous when one knows there is limited time.
With a full 8 hours ahead the tone was much different. Upon arrival instructions were given, strip and kneel facing the corner. A tie was quickly inserted in slaves mouth and knotted tightly behind her head causing immediate drooling and making swallowing quite difficult. The sensation was overwhelming and tears began to spill over while trying to determine what was causing the background sound. Cuffs quickly secured wrists to one another behind her back and before there was time adjust first the ruler and then the cane came raining down on the sole of each foot. A sensation that is like no other, unpleasant while happening yet disappointing when gone.
When Master was satisfied he positioned slave over the edge of bed with tears sweat and drool mixing and leaving her wondering how unattractive she must look in that very moment. All vein thoughts swiftly leaving her mind as the Twisted Loop left no uncharted territory between the bend in her knees all the way up to her buttocks. As slave screamed and begged she managed to remain on her tiptoes not wanting to feel her body weight pressing down on the bottom of her sore feet. When the loop was put down slave turned to master to see what was coming and was quickly reminded to keep her eyes to herself as the caning then began. The begging subsided and the moaning eventually took while she thrust her bottom up in the air, noticing for the first time the slickness between her thighs. The dreaded sorority paddles came out as well which usually sends one into a panic, however this day it sent waives of pleasure through her body and she vaguely hears Master comment about this interesting change. Unfortunately he is not quite ready for her to be in that place and he stops to clamp both nipples and then lowers the paddling strikes to the back of her thighs. Slave momentarily mourns the loss of her safe word but quickly slips away again barely noticing when she is pushed up onto the bed, the clamps being ripped from her nipples as she is turned on her back.
Master reaches around her and unhooks the cuffs at the center leaving one on each wrist. He wipes her tears and applies a cuff to each ankle, pulling her arms down to each side and forcing her legs up in a bent position as he reattaches the cuffs. You do not have permission to cum he reminds his property as he plunges his fingers inside her causing her to shudder and cry out with need. Master removes his fingers and slave watches as he slips his belt from his trousers and folds it several times before beginning to whip her exposed sex. Tears once again spill down her cheeks. There is no way to close her legs for protection, juices splattering about each time the belt makes contact with her skin, leaving her breathless and squirming to get away. Are you ready for me to stop slave? He asks as she looks at him wide eyed not knowing what answer will be acceptable. He smiles down at her understanding her lack of response as he lets the belt fall to the floor simultaneously scooping up clothespins that he attaches to her sore lips.
Slave is once again rolled over after a few rapid slaps to the face which is now pushed down on to the bed; her knees buckled under her and pushed up to her chest. Do you know how wide your ass is opened up to me right now my love? He asks and once again receives no answer her mouth now aching from the strain of the tie being pulled so taught. To answer his own question for her  he again brings out the loop, this time turning it sideways so the  skinny rod strikes directly in between each butt cheek delivering a pain so incredibly strong he once again must remind slave she may not cum until he allows her to do so. He continues until the sobbing is uncontrollable and she is desperately trying to roll back over on to her back. He holds her down with one hand as he lets his pants and boxers fall to the ground and in one swift motion plunges himself deep between her cheeks as she cries out in pain trying to pull her swollen hole away. “You’ll be fine in a minute he whispers as he grabs both hips to control her bucking and drives himself deep inside her.
Master uses his slave until he is satisfied and brings her once again onto her back. Her body is now throbbing from being bound in this position for what seems like an eternity. He removes the soaked clothespins from her lips admiring his possession you have endured quote a bit and you are so red my sweet girl, let me see if I can sooth some of that for you he whispers as his tongue meets swollen clit and lavishes her sex in endless kisses. She feels the orgasm building up inside her and begins to silently beg her body not to cum just yet. He inserts his fingers inside, the torture becoming worse than anything she has endured over the last two hours. She cries out around the gag as much as she can letting him know she cannot hold on any longer and he silently signals her to let go which she does until she lies limp curled up in the fetal position.
After some soothing Master releases the cuffs and curls his slave under his shoulder with her head resting on his shoulder. He brings water to her mouth and tips the bottle to her lips and she gulps greedily, half of the water running down each side of her face.  Time passes as Master relaxes with his possession in his arms, the truly safest place in the world.
It’s 3 o clock baby he states and I’m hungry. I want you to make me something to eat and at 4 you’re going to the basement for a belt whipping on the pole.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Speaking of oneself in the third person

Things as usual have been busy and par for the course there has not been much time to write or comment although this slave promises she has been reading.

Life can be tough and just when things settled down a bit we learned of a sickness that has left us scared,  thinking about advance directives (albeit probably a bit over the top, but still) and what happens to my beautiful little girls if Mom is no longer able to care for them while sick form radiation or chemo treatments. My ex does not have what it takes to care for them, he cannot care for himself and they are young.

While we wait to hear exactly what is in store (it could be very minor or it could not) fear began to build. Will Master treat me differently, will he lighten up when one needs his control now more than anything, what will become of the dynamic we have been nurturing so very carefully since getting through some really tough times.

This morning was hectic with lateness. When this slave finally got in the car to go to work and had some alone time to really let things sink in the breakdown occurred as tears fell uncontrollably.

Barely pulling it together before walking into the office, slave filled her mind with the all the tasks that needed to be done at work and at home this evening.

The morning email from Master is waiting as usual. There are clear instructions of only referring to oneself in the third person from now on. There had been signs this was coming, many recent non-physical reminders of this slaves position as property. Instructions regarding restricted eye contact and speech that seem to keep one in a constant state of arousal. This new task will be hard although not as hard as some things ahead of of us. While one gets used to this change posts are sure to be a bit awkward but coming from a place of contentedness.

This was greatly needed today.

Friday, November 16, 2012

Watch that tone,....and your knee

If you read on Wednesday you know I was due for maintenance yesterday which I was quite looking forward to. When that maintenance turned into punishment, that quickly changed.

I always wonder how it must feel from the Spankers point of view when they are going to punish but yet up until that point everything is just fine. There is no anger, nothing out of the ordinary,  just two people hanging out doing what they need to do.

Anyway, I knew the time had come when Master got into his seated position and patted his lap. I did not see an implement anywhere and silently wondered if I was getting his hand but did not state anything of the sort. He explained that were were going to try something new and today he wanted me to count to help me focus. He asked if I thought I could do that and I told him I would try. He explained that he had an idea of the number he was going with and that if I did lose count he was starting from 0 so I should remember that while the punishment was happening. 

I took down my pants, climbed over Masters lap and rested my head on the other end of the of the seat. He brought his leg over mine letting me know I was going to be struggling a bit and started rubbing. I still did not see any implement in sight. He spoke to me softly about my tone and let me know he really wanted to see some changes in me, he asked me a few questions and after a while I just wanted to get it over with. As soon as the first hit landed I knew it was that big wooden spoon and although it took my breath away I very clearly stated "1 Sir". I was doing a really good job staying still as long as the contact was made to my buttocks but those really hard hits to thighs make me jump and I am not good at taking them. I beg shamelessly for him to not hit me there to no avail. Even with his leg over mine I got out of position. He stopped to readjust me and then asked me what number we were at and for the life of me I could not remember. I wracked my brain for the number but just was not sure....was it 49 or 59?

59....I took a chance. Yes, I got it right he told me as we resumed with the punishment. I was holding it together until another one of the nasty thigh hits landed hard on the same spot he had hit quite a few times. I jumped and turned violently and with that motioned I kneed him directly in the crotch by accident.Crap! I felt horrible.

Master took a moment to gain his composure (he did it very quickly too) and then finished at the count of 80. I was covered in sweat and breathing rapidly trying to recover. Usually Master makes me get right up, pull up my pants and sit on my bottom so I can really feel the sting but this time he let me lie still for a moment or two. Perhaps he was being kind because he knows how much I hate the spoon.

Then he said, OK baby this is for moving to much and kneeing me in the nuts and with that I received a rapid firing of hand smacks that were so hard and fast there was no way to count. That's when the flood gates opened and I started sobbing.
When all was finished I got dressed and curled myself up in his lap. I thanked him for the punishment as he smoothed my hair, held me in his arms and told me how much he loved me and all felt right with the world.

Master had gone very easy on me, and I was very grateful.

Oh sometimes I am so naive.

Later on that evening Master allowed me to touch him and eventually pleasure him. He reminded me of my little mishap earlier in the day. He kept my my mouth wrapped around him until every muscle in my neck, shoulder and back was killing me, there were indeed time when I just felt like I could not do it anymore. He allowed me to be still every 15 minutes or so as long as I kept him fully in my mouth before he started thrusting my head deep down his shaft signaling me to start again. Yes, I am starting to see the value in being still and I would imagine that was part of the point. I missed my wind down 2 hour TV block (which I usually only get on Thursdays) and my jaw still does not feel quite right today.

Master has told me to plan on spending a lot more time like that as he enjoyed himself immensely. In looking back, I think part of me have as well.
Have a good weekend.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Outbursts & Warnings

When things are good they are ....well good. I ask before doing, think before speaking, follow his lead and we go about our happy way. We are a vanilla couple in a Master/slave relationship. Two people going to work, running errands, cooking dinner, taking care of kids and falling asleep exhausted at the end of the day. From the outsiders eye you would probably only notice a few small odd things, things you might notice but not think much of. To our friends at times I am pretty sure it looks like he waits on my hand & foot. When the kids are busy at a cookout or party he wants me to use that time to relax and enjoy my friends; he often brings me a drink before my glass is empty or a plate of food before I have even thought about eating.

Sure enough though something eventually happens that causes some stress in the dynamic. It usually revolves around my busy schedule which Master hates. He makes a snide comment and I fly off the handle and the fighting begins. I stop addressing him properly and become a total smart ass (in this case I may have mentioned something about a temper tantrum). In turn Master plays into my behavior and gets nasty and before you know it, the little something is a big something and we both go to bed angry.

Obviously, I have not yet found the submissive way to handle this situation, I think he did however find a way to get me there. Instead of the back and forth and being snippy to each other he said only a few words to me:

You better start learning how to address me right now. That was not cute. My answer was not a tantrum. I strongly advise that you start correcting yourself right now and remember your place. Earned yourself exactly what you asked for.

I immediately answered "Yes Master" and the issue was over. I much prefer it this way and I think it shows much growth in our relationship. Even if today's maintenance is now going to be more of a type of punishment.

And no you don't want to know what I asked for. It was one thing to ask for it when I was in a play situation and not in trouble. It's going to hurt.

Thursday, November 8, 2012

The Twisted Loop

Sorry I have been away for so long, sometimes vanilla life just gets in the way and I have a hard time getting myself back to this place.

There has been a lot of growing dominance and submission around here and it has been great for both of us. Subtle changes that have big results, things that seem hard to get used to at first and then naturally fall into place.  Small liberties taken away and given back for good behavior, lots of humiliation to feed my soul, just what I need and want.

I am still a little short on time but did want to give you my thoughts on the twisted loop I posted about oh so long ago. Many of the comments about this implement put me on edge and I was starting to 2nd guess the purchase before it even arrived, but alas the delivery day came and I reluctantly opened the package.

At first glance I was not impressed, it looked rather small and not threatening at all. I had handed it to Master and after a few swings in the air he grinned that sadistic grin that always makes me squirm and started in on the front of my upper thighs as I sat in the chair across from him. Yeah, I still had clothes on and it stung like hell. I was quickly bare from the bottom down and over Masters lap as he warmed my bottom and thighs, there was a sting to it but I could tell Master was being light handed as he often is the first time we use an implement. Overall, I was feeling a little disappointed.

The second time using the loop was much more of a tear jerker. Master really caught some air before it landed and I was quite tender once we were done. The sting grows in intensity as you keep taking hits to the same spot and watch out if if that damn things wraps around to the front of your bare thigh.

Fast forward to yesterday, the first time using the wooden paddle since our little wood bet was over. I was soaked as I laid across Masters lap as he rubbed my bottom for what seemed like hours. The anticipation was driving me crazy as he whispered to me about how hard he was going to paddle me and how much he missed the large ground he could cover with it. The paddling began and I fought him terribly, it had been so long I truly forgot the pain caused by that thing, of course that only led to my thighs getting it even harder than my butt. I would calm for about 10 landings and then start squirming all over again. Finally Master reached his free hand around, grabbed the front of my neck and then thrust two fingers deep down my throat as he paddled away. I calmed my body, unable to swallow and fighting that gagging reflex as my drool dripped down my face. Master finished up and I relaxed as he withdrew he fingers so I was able to close my mouth. I laid there limply waiting for instruction to get up and that's when I heard it. The twisted loop swishing through the air in a rush to get to my backside. This is added for moving slave he bellowed and he laid into me like there was no tomorrow. I swore I was bleeding, it felt like a knife was cutting into me but I did not move an inch hoping it would gain me some sympathy. When Master was done I sank to my knees while he smoothed my hair. I laid my head in his lap (his jeans were soaked where I had dripped onto him) and thanked him for the release.

The twisted loop is wicked my friends, and I can't wait to feel it on other parts of my body. Definitely worth it if you love/hate sting and I hope it becomes one of our regular toys.