The Beginning

There are so many wonderful blogs I have read and kept up with that gave me the strength to become comfortable with who I am. I would have liked to follow many from the beginning of the journey and that being the case I thought I should start mine from just that....the beginning. It took me a long time to get here but I am excited for what the future holds.

Thursday, September 20, 2012


There are all sorts of little ways Master can inflict pain on me at his whim. He has definitely learned to be pretty creative about it since there are often little ones and other family members cramping our style in close proximity.

It all started out innocently with a few hard pinches to my inner thigh when we were playing one night which got me pretty excited. It hurt but my pain threshold goes up significantly while playing or when I know there will be pleasure to follow. He dabbled with that for a while until one day at lunch. We were sitting in the car talking and out of the blue he reached over and started pinching the inside of my thigh, hard. Instinctively I put my hands down to shield myself from the onslaught. He looked at me in his domly way, firmly instructed me to move my hands and proceeded to pinch me to his hearts desire.....that of course got me a bit aroused even though there was no chance of play at that time, but it was not the pain that aroused me, it was that he had enough control over me that allowed him to do that when it hurt so bad. It was in that moment that I realized we were past the point of me needing physical restraints to endure, all I needed was his command.

Since that day, pinching has taken on a whole new meaning. If we are watching TV and the kids are there but he wants to see me squirm he'll repeatedly get me good on the forearm. If we are with my parents and my Mom starts in on some tangent that I am surely going to freak out over voice my opinion about to the detriment of our relationship he will pinch me so fiercely it takes everything I have to keep my expression from giving away how much pain I am in. The good side of that scenario is that it does keep me from getting punished for running off at the mouth when she is egging me on. I'm also likely to get a good pinch or two when we are saying goodbye and are going to be apart for more than a few hours and he is reminding me of expected behaviorsrs. I used to roll my eyes when he did this because I didn't feel I needed the reminders in the first place which I am sure is why the pinches were added on these occasions.

Then something happened, somebody asked why my arms were always bruised in the same place. I don't even remember how I answered but the pinching to the arms quickly changed to my back closer to the shoulder blade and other places. Which is just as effective, I hated it. 

Here's the kicker, I have been so conditioned to accept this pinching that now when we lay in bed at night to watch TV with the girls as soon as Master lays his hand on my body I want the pinch. I anticipate the pain and if he doesn't do it I get well.....a little disappointed, I want to scream "hurt me". It strange, I know but I crave it. I'll even present my body in a certain was so he  has good access and even though he never says anything I know he knows it.

Well last night we all sat down to watch the Season Finale of our favorite reality show. I threw my leg over his and he rested his hand on my inner thigh. Sure enough the pinching began. Hard vice grips pinches that knocked the wind out of me, causing my eyes to tear and wetness in other places. The pinching went on for at least an hour and not only was he pinching but he was grabbing the skin and twisting it. My thigh was so sore and I could see the subtle smile reach his eyes knowing the pain he was causing me. At one point I actually started whimpering and since the girls were both half asleep I managed to whisper how bad it hurt.

You remember your safeword, don't you?

Of course, I do Master but I'm not going to use it for a little pinching I answered all the while thinking and you know that damn well, especially since I have never used it before. 

Then I guess you haven't reached your limit.

Well I'm not going to get sick or be permanently harmed by it so you know I won't use it .

Exactly, your fine and your soaked, now go to bed, little one. I love you.

And with that, he kissed me on the forehead, tucked me in and off to dreamland I went.

And no I cannot cross my legs today and yet I am sure I will put myself in that same exact position tonight.


  1. Great post. Very hot. Have you ever tried playing with a toothpick? No bruising, just pleasure/pain.

    Very erotic post. Thanks for sharing.


    1. We have not tried a toothpick yet but Master has mentioned he would like to play pins very soon. I always get nervous when we try something new.

  2. To me this was less erotic, as joey said, but informative! I had never even considered this. DH is very slow to try out new things, spanking took a long time for him to not stop when it was just getting good...but I do find it fascinating!

    1. I remember reading that about DH but he has certainly come along. I never thought this would be something I would react to either and yet there it is. I am still learning about myself in so many ways.

  3. I agree with those who already commented - I love this post. :)

  4. Thanks Kitty, for some reason I was a little nervous to share this one.

  5. You can share anything with us! Master has never used pinching, so I am not sure how I would react. Isn't is amazing what we grow to love and desire....
    hugs abby

  6. I get the occasional nipple pinch when I would least expect it...but mostly just for fun, just because he can;)

  7. I get the occasional pinch, too. It hurts, sometimes I rebel but then it gets worse. It's a true exercise in submission because I really have to concentrate on taking it. Have a great weekend!


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