The Beginning

There are so many wonderful blogs I have read and kept up with that gave me the strength to become comfortable with who I am. I would have liked to follow many from the beginning of the journey and that being the case I thought I should start mine from just that....the beginning. It took me a long time to get here but I am excited for what the future holds.


Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Owned

I am going through some changes, they are not exactly comfortable. It's Master all the time in my head, invading my thoughts, my every gesture. I start to feel wrong if we can't see each other, like a panic attack is right around the corner. When I don't feel his control I get antsy and when that happens I clam up. When we talk on the phone I get quiet, I get scared, I don't want him to know how much it gets to me when we can't be together so I put even more space between us. I am not sure why I do that, he knows how I feel anyway so why piss me him off.?

Then yesterday when I woke up I was feeling better. I remember laying in bed half asleep and the first thought that popped in my head was I am owned by my Master. It was like a mantra I kept repeating and it settled me. As I was getting ready for work there were all these little reminders. I noticed the dark bruises on the inside of my thighs in the shape of his teeth, I stopped shaving at my upper thighs since I had been told to let my pubic hairs grow in, I didn't blow dry my hair straight since he likes the natural curl I wore in high school, something I have not done since I was living off the land and seeing music in three different states a week (unless the Grateful Dead were on a 5 day run in one place). I wore a dress instead of pants since he has asked for that from now on. When I was leaving I double checked for my phone and my asthma inhaler, things I never checked for before, if I had them I had them if not it wouldn't be the end of the world. As I was doing all this I realized he is there, he may not be physically present but he is there, directing me, molding me to what he wants, to do small things that will make him happy.

Then yesterday he drove out to me, I was surprised since we had no time, between the two of us the kids are 6, 7, & 8 and yesterday was the last day before school goes back into session, we both had a ton to do. We went to a private area and he looked at me as he slipped off his belt,

You know I love you and that you can't distance from me, right? He sits down


I know, I feel better today. I was just tired and cranky last night. 


Come on, get over my lap. 


No response...me staring.

Come on hand gesture from him.

I climb across his lap, dress down, panties on.....why should I help him? He pulls up my dress and my panties down and spanks me hard with the belt, making sure each slaps lands in the exact same spot as before (how does he have such good aim). I do a good job staying still and trying not to cry until he is done but when he pulls my panties back up the waterworks start to fall and I am clinging to him for dear life and he just holds me and rocks back and forth until I calm down. Once I am calm he starts rubbing between my legs and eventually  I beg him to slip his fingers inside me which he does and I am moving against his fingers, my eyes closed as he unexpectedly starts slapping the inside of my thighs with his free hand until I explode and his hand his soaked and the inside of my legs are worse off then my red bottom.

He stands up and tells me has to go....his whole visit shorter than the time it takes him to drive to me and back home. We share a drawn out goodbye and take comfort in the fact that we will get to see each other for lunch tomorrow (which is now today).

When I wake up this morning the first thought that pops into my mind is I am owned by my Master and as I sit here typing not able to cross my legs because of the welts on the inside of my thighs, I don't think I will forget that again anytime soon.

16 comments:

  1. Yeah, those blows on the insides of the thighs HURT, don't they? And yet...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, they are annoying me today and I want more all at once.

      Delete
  2. Oh, I'm so with you and Conina, the thighs!!! What a way to remember who you belong too.

    So sweet that he took more time to drive too you then he had time to be with you. That says a lot about his priorities :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The drive he made out made me feel very special, well and all the other stuff too, of course.

      Delete
  3. I can't resist, I must third the thighs comment! It hurts so so much!

    I can relate to feeling that antsy-ness and longing for him...I think something about the lifestyle provokes those feelings. I love that he traveled to you to make sure he got to see you, and then gave you a lovely time. I hope your changes start to become more comfortable.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree with you 100% on the lifestyle provoking those feelings. I have always been more independent in my relationships to the point of it annoying the person I was with at the time. That is totally not the case bow.

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  4. I think it's so neat that you're feeling owned, and thanks for sharing how your Master drove all the way to see you, even though you didn't have a lot of time.

    It's so romantic that he's making you wear dresses, too. I feel kind of bad because Daddy likes me to wear dresses and I've gotten out of the habit, I guess. It's not a rule, but I do like to do things to please him.

    Great post! Hope you have a great time with your Master today, also!!!

    Love,
    Kitty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was not really happy about the dresses at first but I just feel kind of frumpy when I am not wearing one unless I am dressing up jeans with spiffy boats and a really nice short.

      Sometimes the best rules are the self imposed ones. Maybe my post will encourage you to wear a dress soon. Daddy is lucky that you like to please him.

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    2. I do wear dresses/skirts a lot in warmer weather. And yes, your post has inspired me to be more proactive. Thank you for the good reminder:).

      Love,
      Kitty

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  5. I'm glad he made an effort to come to you- it's that kind of "putting love into action" that resonates with women.

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    Replies
    1. I was really glad he came to see me when he did....even if I had gotten over my funk without the spanking. It really helped me feel connected and he was very relaxed and playful when we saw each other today.

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  6. Dont like being hit on thighs not a nice ouchy lol but the feeling of being owned is the best and long may that feeling continue

    tori xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It gets better each and every day. I must admit it hurt but I really liked being hit on on the inner thighs. I wouild love to feel the leather strap there.

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  7. I'll admit, I've been wondering about your name...but I think the Grateful Dead reference solved that mystery:) I like your blog!

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    Replies
    1. LOL, I never thought of all the different ways the name could be interpreted. When Master came up with it I thought it was perfect given my past. I have been enjoying your blog as well.

      Delete
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    ReplyDelete

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