The Beginning

There are so many wonderful blogs I have read and kept up with that gave me the strength to become comfortable with who I am. I would have liked to follow many from the beginning of the journey and that being the case I thought I should start mine from just that....the beginning. It took me a long time to get here but I am excited for what the future holds.


Monday, March 26, 2012

Finalized

Sir and I have been talking about D/s and the type of relationship we want to build for quite some time. I have watched his attitude go from confused to reluctant to OK let's try to taking the reins. We have talked until we were both blue in the face and then we talked some more. I did not initially bring up everything I wanted, I don't think I knew everything I wanted at first. When I brought up certain things some were met with complete resistance so I let them go. Last week I decided to try again....why not things were working well in the bedroom and outside of the bedroom.....let's try talking about DD one more time. I brought it up and this time got NO resistance whatsoever. Sir started reading.....started reading everything, he even called a few times just to make sure this was what I wanted because he was really starting to understand and wanted to move forward with it. Did I really want to to take spanking and other discipline outside of the bedroom play? I assured him this was what I really wanted and needed and it all boiled down to a conversation that started on Friday and ended yesterday. He caught me off guard this weekend, he jumped so far ahead of me my head was spinning. He ended the conversation with:

Are you sure there is nothing else you want to talk about now or anything you might have a real problem with because once were done here we are done. We've agreed on the terms and from here on out I get the final say.

I once again assured him I was good with where we were going. Here is a rundown of what we agreed on:
  • We are starting DD with maintenance and without corner time. We will do quiet time and lecturing at his discretion. 
  • I will address him as Sir when responding to a directive or answering a yes or no question, Daddy at other times and by name in front of the kids or in public. 
  • We established a safe word. 
  • We went over hard limits. 
  • I will no longer refer to any part of my body as "my" when speaking to him. It's all his and I will refer to it that way. (It's actually not as easy as it sounds and it is going to take some time). 
  • I no longer can say no to anything he asks or decides unless it falls under the hard limits we talked about or has something to do with my children. If I don't agree or like something I will politely ask if we can talk about it and if he says yes we can discuss it but it does not mean he is going to change his stance. 
  • I will sit on the floor at his feet when practical unless otherwise advised (I do this anyway, even at friends and in front of my kids and parents so this is not a big deal). 
  • I will sleep on the bed but at his feet if told to do so. 
  • I did bargain for a lower weight of 115 but he reserves the right to change his mind if it really bothers him. 
There are also of course the typical things that were always there such as the having the cell phone and calling at specific times but those were not real changes so I did not mention them above. I must admit I am a bit relieved to have the initial talking phase over. We both know what we want and what to expect from the other now. I was a bit surprised on how much his views changed on certain things (both on the pain and emotional side of things) in such a short period of time and I welcome the changes with a certain fascination. I feel lucky that I have the opportunity to experience his dominance grow first hand, that I get to feed, nurture and it love it. That I get to love him. 

12 comments:

  1. Hi there! I was just thinking about you and wondering if you were still around. Spring is apparently contract time, since I just wrote a whole thing on ours as well. Your notes above reminded me that I have been to talk to H about calling my body parts his, so thank you for that! I will throw it in my notes. :)

    Kitty

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    1. It's not easy....be careful what you sure for. I am going to get his hair cut this weekend is just not flowing for me right now. Hope things go well in your end.

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  2. dancingbarez,

    I'm so excited for you! It sounds like you're really getting what you want/need.

    Love,
    Kitty

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    1. I am Kitty, it's working out well. Thank you.

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  3. It's all sounding good :)

    Dee x

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  4. This is great and so good that you had a really intense discussion about what you both want from this journey...open, honest communication is so important....good luck

    tori xx

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    1. It was awkward at first but we go through it ...we talked about everything and I was surprised on places he is willing to go now that he was not just a few months ago. Not bad things just surprised how quickly he's changing. It's good.

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  5. Sounds wonderful, I hope it all works the way you want it to :)

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    1. Only time will tell but I am very happy right now.

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  6. I'm really happy for you! It's such an exciting journey. I like that he gave you a chance to add any input you needed, but after you did, it's in his hands now. Looks like he's naturally really great at stepping it up.

    I'm can't wait to read more about how things are going for you two. :)

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    1. It is exciting indeed. Things are really intense right now and I like that a lot.

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