The Beginning

There are so many wonderful blogs I have read and kept up with that gave me the strength to become comfortable with who I am. I would have liked to follow many from the beginning of the journey and that being the case I thought I should start mine from just that....the beginning. It took me a long time to get here but I am excited for what the future holds.


Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Speaking of oneself in the third person

Things as usual have been busy and par for the course there has not been much time to write or comment although this slave promises she has been reading.

Life can be tough and just when things settled down a bit we learned of a sickness that has left us scared,  thinking about advance directives (albeit probably a bit over the top, but still) and what happens to my beautiful little girls if Mom is no longer able to care for them while sick form radiation or chemo treatments. My ex does not have what it takes to care for them, he cannot care for himself and they are young.

While we wait to hear exactly what is in store (it could be very minor or it could not) fear began to build. Will Master treat me differently, will he lighten up when one needs his control now more than anything, what will become of the dynamic we have been nurturing so very carefully since getting through some really tough times.

This morning was hectic with lateness. When this slave finally got in the car to go to work and had some alone time to really let things sink in the breakdown occurred as tears fell uncontrollably.

Barely pulling it together before walking into the office, slave filled her mind with the all the tasks that needed to be done at work and at home this evening.

The morning email from Master is waiting as usual. There are clear instructions of only referring to oneself in the third person from now on. There had been signs this was coming, many recent non-physical reminders of this slaves position as property. Instructions regarding restricted eye contact and speech that seem to keep one in a constant state of arousal. This new task will be hard although not as hard as some things ahead of of us. While one gets used to this change posts are sure to be a bit awkward but coming from a place of contentedness.

This was greatly needed today.



14 comments:

  1. I sincerely hope that it turns out to be something minor.
    Thinking of you and wishing the best for your days to come.

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  2. I sincerely hope that the news turns out to be very minor and I'm glad he's rock solid for you right now when you need him to be.

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  3. dancingbarez,
    I just recently discovered your blog and have enjoyed it so much. (read entire thing on Sunday) I am praying that your health concerns are minor! And happy you have your Master for strength!

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  4. dancingbarez,
    I just recently discovered your blog and have enjoyed it so much. (read entire thing on Sunday) I am praying that your health concerns are minor! And happy you have your Master for strength!

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  5. Hugs...hope all turns out to be a minor problem. From what I have read, the 2 of you together can weather whatever life throw at you...please keep us informed....
    hugs abby

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  6. Sending lots of positive healing energy your way and praying its turns out to be a minor thing.

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  7. Good vibes to you!

    Amazing how relinquishing control is soooo soothing.

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  8. I can assure you that having a good relationship grows in importance, when these things happen.
    It makes you aware that you should not go around unhappy.
    The dynamic will adjust to whatever is in your future.
    Even when it does turn out serious and even when chemo treatment may incapacitate you, the sound of the word 'Slave' will tell you how much he cares.
    That word will tell you how much you are worth to him.

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  9. My thoughts are with you.

    Hug,
    joey

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  10. Sending a million hugs your way.

    Just remember little steps.

    Hugs,
    mouse

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  11. Hope it turns out to be the lessor. Glad he has your back.

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  12. I too sure hope that this ends up being nothing serious. Thinking of you. Please let us know when you are able.

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  13. Ill be keeping you in my thoughts!

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