When things are good they are ....well good. I ask before doing, think before speaking, follow his lead and we go about our happy way. We are a vanilla couple in a Master/slave relationship. Two people going to work, running errands, cooking dinner, taking care of kids and falling asleep exhausted at the end of the day. From the outsiders eye you would probably only notice a few small odd things, things you might notice but not think much of. To our friends at times I am pretty sure it looks like he waits on my hand & foot. When the kids are busy at a cookout or party he wants me to use that time to relax and enjoy my friends; he often brings me a drink before my glass is empty or a plate of food before I have even thought about eating.
Sure enough though something eventually happens that causes some stress in the dynamic. It usually revolves around my busy schedule which Master hates. He makes a snide comment and I fly off the handle and the fighting begins. I stop addressing him properly and become a total smart ass (in this case I may have mentioned something about a temper tantrum). In turn Master plays into my behavior and gets nasty and before you know it, the little something is a big something and we both go to bed angry.
Obviously, I have not yet found the submissive way to handle this situation, I think he did however find a way to get me there. Instead of the back and forth and being snippy to each other he said only a few words to me:
You better start learning how to address me right now. That was not cute. My answer was not a tantrum. I strongly advise that you start correcting yourself right now and remember your place. Earned yourself exactly what you asked for.
I immediately answered "Yes Master" and the issue was over. I much prefer it this way and I think it shows much growth in our relationship. Even if today's maintenance is now going to be more of a type of punishment.
And no you don't want to know what I asked for. It was one thing to ask for it when I was in a play situation and not in trouble. It's going to hurt.
I think we have all been there and done that. We say something we regret later. Why is it so hard?
ReplyDeleteThere is a book on this topic: Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman. It is a must read for a submissive even though it is written for a vanilla reason.
I gather that it is a very painful punishment. Good luck.
Big Hug,
joey
Thanks for the suggestion. I am going to get that as soon as I finish the latest James Patterson book I am in the middle of. Thank you!
DeleteThe punishment felt horrible at the time but really it was not that bad and I am only mildly sore on one thigh today. All is well.
Sometimes, we need them to assert the control over the situation, and he did. We just need to react in kind, and you did. It may be difficult, but you have the strength that you need to get through it, and he will help, and when it's over the connection will be stronger. (((hugs)))
ReplyDeleteThanks for your encouraging words June. We did get through it although there was some bumps along the way that I need to post about. The connection is always great after.
DeleteAhh, Dancingbarez, you better watch out.
ReplyDeleteIf this goes on, you'll find yourself in a completely Perfect relationship.
Oh Bas, if it was only that easy. You might beat me there.
DeleteIts not always easy and i think thats the hardest thing to come to terms with, but then the things worth having generally dont come easily.
ReplyDeletexx
Easy it is not but well worth the journey. If you could remind me that next time I complain I would appreciate it.
DeleteMost of your punishments sound very hurtful to me. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteThis one was actually not too bad. i will tell you all about it shortly.
DeleteI needed to read this tonight,,,I am feeling anything but submissive, it is good to know I am not alone in my lapses. It does sound like hubby/Master has figured out how to get you back to where you need to be...good luck with Maintenance/Punishment
ReplyDeletehugs abby
I am glad I could help Abby. It is exciting for me to watch him grow as we move forward. Sometimes his words get me back to where I need to be faster than anything else.
DeleteIt sure does help to shut things down before they escalate and it seems so simple, but in practice not so easy to do.
ReplyDeleteI hope last night wasn't too hard. :(
He did I good job of stopping me in my tracks and I did really appreciate it. I just hope we can keep it going.
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