The Beginning

There are so many wonderful blogs I have read and kept up with that gave me the strength to become comfortable with who I am. I would have liked to follow many from the beginning of the journey and that being the case I thought I should start mine from just that....the beginning. It took me a long time to get here but I am excited for what the future holds.

Monday, September 16, 2013

Closeness and Affection

As mentioned in the last post Master went out with some friends last week. Now this does not happen very often, usually when we go out it is together. While Master was missed immensely, the fact that he went out was not a big deal, slave was happy he was going. Not only did he deserve the break, he was with my 3 closest friends’ husbands, some of which were not very accepting of our relationship when it started because the divorce from the ex was not finalized.

Anyway, when Master came home he made a passing remark about not receiving any texts from slave while he was out. The comment was surprising and there was an inquiry made as to if the other guys had been receiving texts from their wives and in fact they had…..several. That just seemed really strange because they had only been out for 3 or 4 hours and really the point was for them to have a fun time out. Slave certainly did not want to be a bother.

Now Master was not complaining but the comment keeps coming back to one’s thoughts. Is it weird that she didn’t shoot him a quick text to let him know she was missing him? And really who knows what the texts to other husbands were about, they could have been arguing for all we know. It just has one questioning herself; perhaps she is more distant than she originally thought or not as open as she can be. Does the absence of a text indicate a failure on this slave’s part in one way or another? And why oh why is this still bothering her 4 days later? Bothering her enough that she is writing this post?

Affection has never been one’s strong point, even though one has felt love for another for long periods of time. Hugging, kissing and holding hands are just things that have always fallen off once a relationship progresses. It’s not something conscious either, it just happens.

Master has changed that. Molded slave, mostly through his owns actions. He will reach out for a hand, grab the back of one’s neck or stop the progress of dinner or laundry for a long hug. At first the responses were ones of obedience but as time went on they were ones of true affection. Just feeling his skin against mine, craving any touch he would give, focusing on him even just for that second because yeah laundry and dinner can wait. There were also some rules that fundamentally changed the inner working of one’s mind. The most prevalent being that slave must always be touching Master in some way when relaxing together, even if it’s just a cheek on his leg as one sits at his feet, or throwing her legs on his lap on the rare occasion she asks to sit on the couch instead of the floor. This was a tough rule at first but really now it’s not a rule at all; it’s something one craves and doesn’t even take notice of. It’s something she wants to do, to feel our connection through touch. Slave didn’t even realize this change had taken place in her until the texting comment came up.

Yes, this post is going nowhere at this point, except that maybe one has even more work to do than she thought……and maybe she better talk to Master about it before he reads this. He won’t be happy this was not communicated to him earlier. For some reason it just seemed one would be over it by now.


  1. I don't know how to answer for you on why you're still pondering it, but for us, Master and I don't text. I got in a bit of trouble for texting too much with a friend, but Master doesn't even carry a cell phone unless he needs it for a specific reason. Affection and closeness are still not lacking, even though I normally only hear from him once during his workday, at lunchtime. Or sometimes not at all.

    1. Master hates when one gets texts while we are having our own family time. Luckily it does not happen too often and if it's a bad time the incoming texts go ignored.

  2. What ancilla said.

    Texting does not a relationship make. There is no end to the affection over here - touching, kissing, hugging, snuggling whenever possible, but texting? Maybe once a month, and certainly not while one of us is on an already-too-rare outing with others.

    In fact, texting - or answering/reading texts while you're out specifically to be with others - is rude and disrespectful to those people's time. WTF.

    1. That was the original thought process over here as well... it would be rude or annoying to get texts while he was out with the guys BUT when he mentioned they were getting texts from their wives it just got me wondering if not texting was the exception to the norm. Like maybe it seemed as if one didn't care.

      He was not upset, just surprised that slave had not texted at all.

  3. You know, I honestly try and leave DH alone when he is on such a rare thing as a man date. It really doesn't happen often, and I just leave him alone because I know how annoying it can be if one person keeps checking his or her phone...

    1. LOL, it sounds like we are on the same page, apparently the women we hang out think quite differently.

      Although one thinks it is worth mentioning that thier husbands do seem to go out quite a lot.

  4. I dont text the bossman when he is out with mates (unless its important), for pretty much the reasons you gave, he doesnt go out socially much so i want him to enjoy it and 'escape' for a while.


  5. Hi DB, no, I don't think it's weird you didn't text him at all. As you said, this was a rare thing and you didn't want to be a bother. I actually think you were putting him first by not texting. Allowing him to just go out and enjoy his time with his friends. I certainly don't think it shows any less affection on your part.

    BTW the cynic in me would hazard a guess that the texts from the other wives were probably "how much longer are you going to be", "when are you coming home" etc LoL


  6. I wouldn't have texted either-- but I probably could do more with the communication than I do... thanks for the thought-provoking post.


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