The Beginning

There are so many wonderful blogs I have read and kept up with that gave me the strength to become comfortable with who I am. I would have liked to follow many from the beginning of the journey and that being the case I thought I should start mine from just that....the beginning. It took me a long time to get here but I am excited for what the future holds.


Friday, June 15, 2012

Evolving

As we are relatively new to our dynamic it would only make sense that we evolve as a couple. I expected that but I have been struggling quite a bit. Although it is hard to admit I know it is because initially I was calling the shots, I was the one pointing out his Dominant tendencies, I was the one asking for rules and discipline and I had a perfect picture of how this would all play out.

I happily agreed to give up my right to say no, perhaps a little enchanted by all the wonderful play and new experiences in the bedroom.

The rules in the beginning were easy and in looking back quite insignificant. Guidelines on general behavior that did require some modification but overall were not life altering. Then the rules changed and they were written and they were strict.

He came over to review them with me and I have to say I was very nervous about entering that room with him. I undressed as he asked me and knelt before him as he sat on the edge of the bed so I could place myself between his clothed opened thighs. Each rule had an importance factor number which was matched up with a level of punishment and it was hard to wrap my head around but keeping it straight should not be too much of a problem. The rules themselves were not what I expected and quite frankly are tough. As each rule was explained they were confirmed with a whip from the crop to my backside or thighs which left me flinching especially since my latest paddling had not quite healed yet.

No leaving the house without permission, always call when leaving one place and going to the next, three beer limit if out with friends and if granted permission to go in the first place I must be home by eleven. No more happy hours with male co-workers unless there is a higher ratio of women there, if somebody leaves and throws the ratio off I need to leave as well. The list went on but these mentioned were the most shocking and left me feeling a like a child.

I acknowledged each rule with a Yes Sir after the crop landed and when he was done he pulled me up on to the bed and asked me again if I understood.  I nodded in a daze as he tied my wrists together and then above my head to the bed frame. He placed the blindfold over my eyes and nose leaving me to breathe through my mouth and super sensitive. My body shivered as his hands glided all over me and his tongue worked magic between my thighs. There were several commands to keep my legs spread and although I tried my best there were a few times were I failed miserably as the need to feel him inside me took over. He kept me so close to the edge without letting me go over and I whimpered and begged and outright protested when he flipped me on to my stomach. Ahh I screamed as he started spanking hard with his hand, and just as the stinging had me slipping away he stopped leaving me struggling to identify the sounds I could not distinguish. The ripping of a condom packet was pretty clear and then the pressure against my ass as he thrust my legs forward so they were still flat on the bed but pushed up to each side to spread my cheeks apart. He slowly entered my backside and moved in out of me as I moaned in delight savoring the feeling and pushing back against his body. We moved together for quite some time as he asked me questions regarding my slave status and my ownership. My mind and body was spiraling to another planet and then suddenly he pulled out of me. I yelped in protest not wanting to him to stop. He flipped me over again onto my back and in a matter of seconds had freed himself from the condom as he brought his shaft up to my mouth. I greedily took him in pulling against my restraints to take as much as possible, wanting nothing more in the world than his beautiful hard cock in my mouth. Once he had his fill I felt his weight lift off me and I strained to once again hear what was happening around me, I didn't have to wait long as I felt the  hardwood cane run across my midsection and felt the thwack come down on breast. I cowered into the mattress at the light but firm impact as he swatted at my chest. His hand brushes my inner thighs and the pool of wetness that is quickly accumulating. He brings the cane down to my opening and inserts the tip a bit twirling it about and then pulling it out and running it up and down my opening. He continued this assault until the cane was soaked in my juices. He then started caning the inside of my thighs reminding me of my failure to keep my legs open at his command earlier on in our playtime. Determined to be good I willed myself to stay open to the sting until he put the cane down and plunged himself inside me, pounding my body until we both released ourselves to each other.

When I came back to reality and laid there as he stoked my hair and cheek I quietly told him I was not expecting to play like that today. He looked at me lovingly and answered "You always follow the rules better after I have taken you down that path."

We had a nice relaxed evening together for the rest of the night, drinking a few beers and watching TV. I didn’t give the rules much thought and figured I would be Ok with them for the most part. This was the case of course until the constant calling to update him on my errands became cumbersome and than a few days later I wanted to do something and was told no. We fought and I got became defiant.  I flat out said no to something and later back peddled, I ended up obeying but was indeed punished for my behavior as is should be. After the punishment he took me in his arms and he looked down at me and said You have to listen I am your Owner and I knew he was right and I cried and I apologized and I thanked him for punishing me.

We both grew during this experience and yes I feel I came to a crossroad and took the right path. I feel my place in this although I pouted and kicked and screamed along the way. This was the first big obstacle we went through and there have been others since then but they haven't been so big and when I want to argue I keep myself in check and I do listen. We have been keeping up with every other day maintenance and my anxiety level over the rules have gone down tremendously. I literally feel submission deepening in my soul as time goes on, and just when I feel like I can handle this again he tells me he wants more. More rules, more control, he wants it all and it has to be that way or it has to be nothing. So now I wait, I wait to hear what the new rules are and I am excited and nervous. I've been begging for him to tell me but I must wait because instead of sealing the deal with the crop it will be the cane and we need time (and a house with no children).

Maybe this time it won't be so hard, maybe I won't be so overwhelmed, maybe he knew them the whole time but knew I couldn't handle it all once. He handles me well and I love him for it.

12 comments:

  1. Isn't evolution lovely?
    And things do change so much when you realize that you aren't the one calling the shots. I guess it looks like an obvious step, given the dynamic we seek lol, but it really is so different when it becomes a reality...
    Sounds like your reality is shaping up nicely!

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    1. It is shaping up lil, but I am driving myself crazy. I want more, then I hate it, I want more, then I hate it. I hope this goes away after time.

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  2. Congrats on your deepening submission!

    Love,
    Kitty

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    1. Now if I can jys stay on track for a while....we will see how it goes.

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  3. Good luck on your extended journey into submission.

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    1. I'll take luck....and some valuim please. Just kidding, I'm in a good place

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  4. It seems like its all starting to fit into place and thats great, there are always ups and downs but thats just part of evolving i think.

    tori xx

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    1. The ups and downs can just be so drastic, I think it will even out soon. The less I resist the easier it becomes.

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  5. I completely understand what you say about how each time you finally get used to your rules, he asks for more. It's much like that with us as well...it certainly keeps you on your toes, huh? Good luck with your new rules. Funny, I'm also okay with new rules until the time comes where I have to follow them ;) It sounds like you're doing well though!

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    1. I think the first time I couldn't go out, it was a shock. Next time I won't be so surprised. I have n't gotten the new rules yet....I think some bruising needs to heal before we can use that cane again.

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  6. Sounds like you're both finding a balance together. Good luck with the new rules :)

    Dee x

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    1. I'll let you know how it goes, all he has said so far is it will be total control....nowhere to go from there - the suspense is making me crazy.

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