tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6051310541726101593.post3822903328030299894..comments2023-10-14T10:59:10.996-04:00Comments on Under his Thumb: Not feeling itdancingbarezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159330409168648147noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6051310541726101593.post-38098046146016031782012-08-31T13:30:37.377-04:002012-08-31T13:30:37.377-04:00Hugs hugs and more hugs! I am exhausted just read...Hugs hugs and more hugs! I am exhausted just reading about your day! <br /><br />Hopefully the lines of communication can be reopened and you will be able to breathe. <br /><br />Just hugs. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6051310541726101593.post-25830618150729705672012-08-31T06:48:57.032-04:002012-08-31T06:48:57.032-04:00The others have already said it all. Ugh...it'...The others have already said it all. Ugh...it's so hard that this always comes down to communication b/c these conversations are so hard to begin sometimes. I really hope you can find a gentle place where you know he will be receptive and pour out everything so that he understands the stress you are under. If he can, I'm guessing that not only will he change his expectations but he'll also jump in and help you more with everything that's on your plate. Please let us know how it goes...will be thinking about you.Susiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02119037021959690783noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6051310541726101593.post-86591873968754580642012-08-31T03:34:23.894-04:002012-08-31T03:34:23.894-04:00Wow, he really sounds uncaring. You're running...Wow, he really sounds uncaring. You're running around like crazy, trying to keep everything together, and his big concern is whether or not he gets his 2 hour call????<br />No offense, but he needs to grow up and learn how to treat you with some respect.<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6051310541726101593.post-21134866325645902762012-08-30T22:48:56.719-04:002012-08-30T22:48:56.719-04:00I'm thinking that M is feeling a little put ou...I'm thinking that M is feeling a little put out because you are putting your children first as it should be. His expectations may be a little unrealistic and you should have a long discussion about this.<br /><br />Hugs that you can come to some middle ground because you sound quite stressed. Life is too short not to be enjoyed.Aimless Ramblinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00720714875762344391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6051310541726101593.post-27692746987963468082012-08-30T21:46:23.624-04:002012-08-30T21:46:23.624-04:00First, I have to say I'm so sorry about your s...First, I have to say I'm so sorry about your situation and I can identify. I'm sending you a big hug! :-)<br /><br />Second, I agree with tori. Can you talk or send a long email to him that explains what you just told us? Can you talk together about adjusting Your call schedule, i.e. lengthening it to 3-4 hours instead of 2? Does he really "get" what your days are like? I don't think it is unsubmissive to expect a good partner out of a D/s relationship, one who is more than a Dom but a friend and lover as well. It's healthy and not impossible to achieve within the constraints of D/s, although some may be fine without it and that's great too if it works. The important part is that it works for both of you.<br /><br />Finally, I am of the opinion that kids count first. They are only young once and it is important and fulfilling to shape their lives, to share birthdays, to be their mom. They are the innocent parties and dealing with divorce on top of everything. They have to come first, imho. <br /><br />Well, enough of my rambling for now. :-) I wish you luck working through it.<br /><br />love, squirrelsquirrelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00031730207203305500noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6051310541726101593.post-16912767942453540072012-08-30T21:36:24.533-04:002012-08-30T21:36:24.533-04:00I'm going to just say this, as politely as pos...I'm going to just say this, as politely as possible: You have the hardest job on earth-being a single Mom. Being a Mom is the most important job on earth. I'm soooo tired of trying to mend the shattered pieces of children whose parents have not taken good care of them. Time for you is crucial-including to their growth as people. Time with Sir is important.But nothing trumps Mom. I hope he can come to understand that. Your babies depend on you. They don't have other options. HUGE hugSaoirsehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17902009529171140806noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6051310541726101593.post-55170210208591295592012-08-30T16:41:11.702-04:002012-08-30T16:41:11.702-04:00I cannot say it any better than the ladies who hav...I cannot say it any better than the ladies who have already commented. My thoughts are with you.<br /><br />Very big hug,<br /><br />joeyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6051310541726101593.post-27075655666239518012012-08-30T13:51:23.509-04:002012-08-30T13:51:23.509-04:00Okay, I'm not sure how this will sound, but to...Okay, I'm not sure how this will sound, but to me it sounds like his expectations may need some adjusting. He can not be your entire world when you are first and foremost a mom. You have a lot on your plate and honestly it sounds like you're doing your best. I imagine he doesn't really understand what it's like to live in your shoes. I remember when my oldest child was a toddler. Michael and I both worked outside the home and he had her on his own one day a week (he was off that day and I worked that day). It was wonderful! He got to see just what it was like to care for a toddler and try to get stuff done too. It made him more appreciative and understanding. It sounds like you could use a bit of that yourself...appreciation and understanding that is. (((hugs)))Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6051310541726101593.post-39953898442547383092012-08-30T12:55:12.873-04:002012-08-30T12:55:12.873-04:00Yikes! It sounds like you are up to your ears rig...Yikes! It sounds like you are up to your ears right now with the kids and everything else going on. I hope that, when he helps you back into the right mindset, he's also able to listen and help you find some of the balance you are looking for with your dynamic and the day-to-day stuff. Tesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10536577215955884713noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6051310541726101593.post-30682386308204709562012-08-30T12:00:00.954-04:002012-08-30T12:00:00.954-04:00oh dancing, you know what really upset me reading ...oh dancing, you know what really upset me reading this was the email he sent you, that was harsh.<br /><br />Perhaps sitting down together and rethinking the calling every 2 hours that does seem a bit ott no offence intended but i can see how it can make a day disruptive when you constantly have to remember to make that call.<br /><br />My kids birthdays are 5 days apart so you have my sympathy there it does get expensive especially the older they get, you are right in what you say about their father coming first as long as they are happy....your children are your priority.<br /><br />I think i would want a serious sit down discussion about these issues before it builds up a lot of resentment and gets out of hand, a note worth mentioning....there is a difference between being dominant and being domineering.<br /><br />take care xx<br /><br /><br /><br />torihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06358391889176400481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6051310541726101593.post-26120546479874717772012-08-30T11:59:24.102-04:002012-08-30T11:59:24.102-04:00OK..all three of my children were born in December...OK..all three of my children were born in December on different dates, so 3 birthdays and Christmas...I sympathize with you.<br /><br />I get maintenance once a week, and that is about all I could handle, it is not an easy, fun spanking, and I am always glad it is over. Maybe some other type of 'fun' spanking could replace 1 maintenance.<br />I so admire single moms, you have a lot on your plate, hang in there!<br />hugs abbyabbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17208861579579989418noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6051310541726101593.post-52692677265800508492012-08-30T11:44:59.425-04:002012-08-30T11:44:59.425-04:00I am sorry you are just not feeling it. I understa...I am sorry you are just not feeling it. I understand about the birthdays, I would have thought that to be cute too first, and now, three birthdays within two weeks is a lot of work and money, isn't it?<br />I was going to suggest just waiting for maintenance, but further down, I see that it didn't work either. So, absolutely no advice from me. But sometimes it just doesn't feel right, and then it gets better again. Juliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08484811892132134437noreply@blogger.com